So, as a Christian, one of my biggest struggles is trusting that God can/will/does move in MY life... I have no problem believing wholeheartedly that He can do amazing things in others' lives... I've seen Him do it! But I have also seen Him do it in my own life! So why then do I struggle so much with trusting/believing that He can/will do it again?! We've been praying for months and months about renting a house. If it was the Lord's will,that He would work it all out and if it wasn't, that He would close that door so we knew that we definitely weren't supposed to be there. And we have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting to hear about it. Well, on Sept. 14 we found out that it was ours! But the house needed some work before we could actually move into it. We volunteered to do it so we could get the heck moved in b/c they've been putzing for a good 6 months already! PUH! Didn't realize until we went to look at it again how very much work there actually was to be done! And they want to start the lease on Oct. 1! GAH! Thanks to the amazing friends and family that the Lord has blessed us with, the majority of the work is done and moving day is this coming Saturday! And we've also been blessed with a fridge and stove that we sure couldn't have afforded to buy! So, yes, a ton of answered prayers! The Lord has provided, as He always does. And as He always will. Yet still, I struggle... Our current landlords won't let us out of our lease, so if our apartment doesn't rent,we have to continue paying rent until April, which just the thought of makes me want to puke! And of course we'll be paying rent/utilities at the house as well! Ugh! I can feel the stress level rising the more I think about it! And of course there's the packing... Oh, and the fact that I am 35 weeks pregnant and about to pop! And I can't do much of anything which is incredibly frustrating for me! I am feeling overwhelmed beyond belief right now! Yet, deep down I know that He will work everything out. I know that He has a reason for all of this falling into place as it has. And I've been praying about it. A lot. But even so, I have such a hard time being able to totally let go of the whole situation. Which is really stupid, b/c I know there is nothing that I myself can do about any of it! I KNOW that it is all in His very capable hands and not in my incapable ones! Thank God for that b/c I'm sure I could/would screw it all up bigtime were it up to me on my own! Yet still, I struggle... But after talking with Mel about what song she's going to sing for special music at church I listened to the Ginny Owens song "If You Want Me To"... and it really spoke to me about my attitude/struggle with trusting Him throughout all that has been going on lately. God is just so tricky like that! If You Want Me To: The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering that Your love put You through
And I walk through the darkness If You want me to
Cause when I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see You never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to You
And I will walk through the valley if You want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if You want me to James 1:2 says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." It's not the trials that we go through that strengthen our walk/faith, but how we respond to those trials... This is something that I have definitely needed to be reminded of a lot lately! And thank you to the amazing people the Lord has blessed my life with, who help to keep my focus where it needs to be! On Him and Him alone! He already has it all worked out and knows what is best for us! Anyway. Just wanted to share, I guess!
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